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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24533521">Happy Birth-(Death)-Day, Roman.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ive_never_read_fluff/pseuds/Ive_never_read_fluff'>Ive_never_read_fluff</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Possibly Unrequited Love, Suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:07:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>982</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24533521</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ive_never_read_fluff/pseuds/Ive_never_read_fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Roman falls in love with Patton's crush and soon-to-be boyfriend, and he hates it. </p>
<p>So he kills himself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Happy Birth-(Death)-Day, Roman.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy birthday Roman, lol. We don't do cake here; can I offer some suicide though?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roman and Patton were best friends going in to highschool. They always told each other everything, so it was no surprise that Roman knew of the massive crush his friend had on Logan Croft, the nerdy-est guy in school. Logan always got A's, he wore a tie and looked very formal each and every day, he had perfectly white (and straight) teeth, his hair was combed back and he wore black glasses. He was practically perfect in every way.</p>
<p>Roman was, <em>obviously</em>, quick to encourage Patton to talk to Logan. To Roman, Logan was just a guy who was his best friend's crush and nothing more. Patton would tell him about all the things he did with Logan.</p>
<p> Roman would listen, adding unnecessary comments and would not stop making references to multiple love-related things. Mostly love songs. </p>
<p>It wasn't until a month later that Roman finally convinced Patton to ask Logan out. It also wasn't until then that he'd realized what these weird feelings he had developed were. Roman wanted his best friend happy, don't get him wrong, but he almost despised him. Roman had a crush on Logan. Keeping it to himself nearly ate him alive, he was so used to telling Patton every little thing.</p>
<p> Though it wasn't like he could just go up to him and be like, "oh yeah I have a crush on your boyfriend,", because that was stupid.</p>
<p>"Ro? Are you okay?" Patton asked him, after he and Logan had officially started dating. "What-? Yeah, of course," Roman said as he tried not to yank at his sleeves. "Why d'you ask?" </p>
<p>Patton stared at him for a moment, his face growing sad. "..do you not like Logi?" Fuck, clearly not, Roman fought back a sigh. "No! I like him." More than as a friend. But Roman didn't say that part. "And nothing's wrong, Pat." Neither of them believed it, "You know you can talk to me right?" Patton asked, or said, Roman didn't really care to analyze that bit. He nodded. </p>
<p>"Roman.." Patton looked so sad --<em>concerned</em>-- for his friend. "I'll always be here for you, y'know." </p>
<p>"Yeah. I know." Roman said, before turning away and walking towards any place that was not where Patton would be.</p>
<p>It only got worse from then on. His feelings for Logan grew, as it seemed the more he tried to ignore and avoid the feelings, the more they came back even stronger. He didn't talk to Patton a lot, only uttering an 'hi' when they passed each other in the hallway, and not going anywhere that'd put him in a situation where he had to talk to Patton.</p>
<p>Patton couldn't understand why his friend was avoiding him, what did he do wrong? Where did he go <em>wrong</em>? Did Roman just not like him anymore? He had to be talked down from a few panic attacks by Logan due to his thoughts. Logan assured him that Roman probably did not hate him, that he probably just needed some alone time. But if so, why not come out and say it to his face?</p>
<p>Roman noticed how when he walked pass Patton, he either looked away or had this unexplainable sadness (similar to the eyes of someone who watched their loved one die) in his eyes. Not to mention the tear tracks on his face when he did turn away. It's all Roman's fault. If he'd just not been so selfish and conceited and complete udder human trash, then Patton wouldn't be hurting.</p>
<p><em>But</em>, Roman thought bitterly, <em>he has Logan to take care of him.</em> Logan. If not for Logan, they wouldn't be in this fucking mess! Wait, what the hell? Roman was disgusted with himself as he let the reality of his thoughts sink in.</p>
<p>He was a monster now too. Great, one more word to carve into his sliced up body. He already had quite the collection of words engraved within his skin, considering he'd only started when Patton and Logan got together. Words ranging from 'Fag', 'Asshole', and 'Selfish' littered his arms, thighs and stomach. </p>
<p>Roman hated that he wanted Logan, hated that he wanted Patton to get out of the picture, hated how he'd actually <em>fucking planned</em> to make it happen. He was so fucked up. Now, he knew he should probably talk to someone, probably a therapist, but no. (Plus, therapist split apart is the rapist, and he wasn't up for that. He uses a weird sense of humor to manage feelings, shut up.)</p>
<p>He'd give so much to live like he did before. When he and Patton would hang out for hours on end, when they'd talk about the lives they wanted for themselves, when they would fall asleep and wake up holding each other, when cuddles and movie nights were routine, when they were <em>happy</em>.</p>
<p>But that is impossible, he can't travel back in time, and even if he could, he wouldn't change much. He'd just add more cuddles and hugs and those soft moments they had. 'Cause Patton was happy with Logan, and Logan was happy with Patton.</p>
<p>
  <strike> And Roman wasn't happy. </strike>
</p>
<p>Roman would never not feel horrible for what he felt and what he did. Well -- not as long as he lived, because as far as he knew, once you died you were just dead. </p>
<p>He was ready to die, to not think anymore, to not see Patton's sad expression as he walked by, to not feel the glare from Logan telling Roman how much he disliked him, to not cut anymore, to stop his hopeless dreaming about a happy life, to be freed. He'd finally be free. </p>
<p>As he took his last breath before leaving, he thought about everything and everyone that's he's let down or will let down by doing this selfish act.</p>
<p>He took one step forward. Then he fell.</p>
<p>Distantly, he thought he might have heard a scream. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If y'all want, send me some things you'd like to see me write about Sanders Sides. Doesn't have to be angst, but that's my strong suit, so.. I'll do any ship and any form of death or something angst related. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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